Fade.

I try to breathe; Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but the thought is too much to conceive

I only know that I can change; Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to; You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to express how I felt; I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made

So where were you? When all this I was going through
You never took the time to ask me just what you could do

I only know that I can change; Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to; You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to express how I felt; I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made

But I never meant to fade...away; I never meant to fade

I just needed someone to talk to; You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to express how I felt; I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made

I try to breathe

Prologue to Rex Regi Rebellis

"As you sit in your quiet home, surrounded by peace, comfort and civilization... do you, listener, remember those memories... grand and tearful, which still, after hundreds of years, remain now radiant with the brightness of sunlight, and now darkening, like indelible bloodstains... the variegated pages of history.

Can your thoughts, torpid with repose, transport themselves back to the horrors and joys of the past... not straying indifferently from one thing to another which excites your curiosity, but taking a warm and vital interest, as if you yourself stood in the midst of those struggles, now long since fought out... bled in them, conquered or fell in them, and felt your heart beat with hope or apprehension according as fortune smiled or betrayed...

Standing on the heights of history, looking far around the wild arena of human destiny, can you transfer yourself into the well of the past? A life physically buried and decayed, but spiritually inmost, which constitutes the essence and substance of history... Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?

Therefore, if you have the capacity to suffer or rejoice with the generation that had been... to hate with them... to love with them... to be transported to admire, to despise, to curse as they have done - in a word: to live among them with your whole heart and not alone with your cold, reflecting judgement...
... then follow me. I will lead you down into the well. My hand is weak and my sketch humble, but your heart will guide you better than I.
Upon that I rely... and begin"




by Turisas

My angel, my all, my very self.

Just a few word and those here.

Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks?
Can our love endure except through sacrifices,
through not demanding everything from one another?
Can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I am not wholly yours ?
We shall surely see each other soon.
I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life.
If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these.
My heart is full of so many things to say to you.
Oh,there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all.
Cheer up, remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours.
Wherever I am, there you are also.
Much as you love me, I love you more .
But do not ever conceal yourself from me .
Oh God,so near! So far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?

Every single second, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved,
now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us.
I can live only wholly with you or not at all .
Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you
until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you,
and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits.

You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you.
No one else can ever possess my heart....never....never....
Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves?
And yet my life is now a wretched life.
Your love makes me at once the happiest of women.

Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together.
Be calm...love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - YOU - my life - my all - farewell.
Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours...

FOR THE ONE THAT NEVER DESERVED IT...

CONFESION

1.
WE'VE LEFT SHORE SOMEHOW
BECOME THE FRIENDS
OF EARLY THEORY
CLOSE ENOUGH TO SPEAK
DESIRE AND PAIN OF ABSENCE
OF MISTAKES WE'D MAKE
GIVEN THE CHANCE.

EACH SMILE RETURNED
MAKES HARDER AVOIDING
DREAMS THAT SEE US
LYING IN EARLY EVENING
CURTAIN SHADOWS, SKIN
SAFE AGAINST SKIN.
BLOOM OF COMPASSION
RESPECT FOR MOMENTS
EYES LOCK TURNS
FOREVER INTO ONE MORE
VEIL THAT FALLS AWAY.

2.
THIS AFTER SEEING YOU
LAST NIGHT, FIRST TIME
SMELLING YOU WITH
PERMISSION: SHOULDERS TO
WONDER OPENLY AT
AS CAREFULLY KISSED
AS THOSE ARMS
WAITED IMPOSSIBLY ON.
THEY'VE HELD ME NOW
AND YOUR BREATH
DOWN MY BACK
SENT AWAY NIGHT AIR
THAT HAD ME SHAKING
IN THE UNLIT ANGLICAN
DOORWAY.

3.
ARE WE RUINED FOR
FINDING OUR FACES FIT
AND WANT TO KNOW MORE
ABOUT MORNING?
IS FRIENDSHIP CANCELLED
IF WE CAN'T CALL
EACH OTHER ANYMORE
IN AMNESIA, INVITE
OURSELVES TO LAST GLANCES
UNDER SUSPICIOUS CLOCKS
TELLING US WHEN WE'VE
HAD ENOUGH?

4.
YOUR STEADY HANDS
CRADLING MY GRATEFUL
SKULL: WERE YOU TAKING
IN MY FACE TO
SAVE AN IMAGE
YOU'VE RARELY ALLOWED
YOURSELF AFTER LEAVING
THAT COLD ALCOVE?
AM I A PHOTOGRAPH
YOU GAZE AT IN
MOMENTS OF WEAKNESS?

YOU ORDERED ME
OFF MY KNEES
INTO YOUR ARMS.
WASN'T TO BEG
THAT I KNELT; ONLY
TO SEE YOU ONCE
FROM BELOW.

TRIED TO SAY SOMETHING
THAT FILLED MY MOUTH
AND LONGED TO REST
IN YOUR EAR.
DON'T DARE WRITE
IT DOWN FOR FEAR IT'LL

BECOME WORDS, JUST WORDS.

Dedicated.....

UNTITLED

I MISS YOU...
I see the lights of this world all by my own.
I listen to the sounds of the city without you.
I don't have your hand to hold on.
And I am afraid,cause you are gone,my life.

I MISS YOU
The roads hit me like arrows.
Your soul is like the wind that blows.
It flies up there in the sky
And I don't know where are you,cause I am standing on the ground.

I MISS YOU
I don't know why,I don't know for how long.
I need your body,
to find the secret paths of it
And lead my soul upon them.

I MISS YOU
And there are moments when all that melancholy
is gathered up inside my head.
And there are moments that all that melancholy becomes rain
and spreads to the people.
And there are moments that all that melancholy will be shared to your soul as well.
And there are moments that all that melancholy comes to my mouth as a simple phrase:
I MISS YOU

I lost all respect towards each one of you fellas. Fuck them all.

Zero

Lex Talionis

"Rising above the searching of love visions
I felt this darkness resist
Nailing a thousand nazarenes
Screaming through your thousand faces
Robed in black
For this ritual madness
The demons of the heart
I have learned to obey

War is declared
Spread everywhere

Awaken from the slumber
Where can I hide
Screaming he dies

Past the light
Of a god sent
To a world of the night

For knowledge, I the demons ride"


Lex Talionis by Daemonarch