Fade.

I try to breathe; Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but the thought is too much to conceive

I only know that I can change; Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to; You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to express how I felt; I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made

So where were you? When all this I was going through
You never took the time to ask me just what you could do

I only know that I can change; Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to; You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to express how I felt; I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made

But I never meant to fade...away; I never meant to fade

I just needed someone to talk to; You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to express how I felt; I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made

I try to breathe

Prologue to Rex Regi Rebellis

"As you sit in your quiet home, surrounded by peace, comfort and civilization... do you, listener, remember those memories... grand and tearful, which still, after hundreds of years, remain now radiant with the brightness of sunlight, and now darkening, like indelible bloodstains... the variegated pages of history.

Can your thoughts, torpid with repose, transport themselves back to the horrors and joys of the past... not straying indifferently from one thing to another which excites your curiosity, but taking a warm and vital interest, as if you yourself stood in the midst of those struggles, now long since fought out... bled in them, conquered or fell in them, and felt your heart beat with hope or apprehension according as fortune smiled or betrayed...

Standing on the heights of history, looking far around the wild arena of human destiny, can you transfer yourself into the well of the past? A life physically buried and decayed, but spiritually inmost, which constitutes the essence and substance of history... Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?

Therefore, if you have the capacity to suffer or rejoice with the generation that had been... to hate with them... to love with them... to be transported to admire, to despise, to curse as they have done - in a word: to live among them with your whole heart and not alone with your cold, reflecting judgement...
... then follow me. I will lead you down into the well. My hand is weak and my sketch humble, but your heart will guide you better than I.
Upon that I rely... and begin"




by Turisas

My angel, my all, my very self.

Just a few word and those here.

Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks?
Can our love endure except through sacrifices,
through not demanding everything from one another?
Can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I am not wholly yours ?
We shall surely see each other soon.
I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life.
If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these.
My heart is full of so many things to say to you.
Oh,there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all.
Cheer up, remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours.
Wherever I am, there you are also.
Much as you love me, I love you more .
But do not ever conceal yourself from me .
Oh God,so near! So far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?

Every single second, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved,
now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us.
I can live only wholly with you or not at all .
Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you
until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you,
and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits.

You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you.
No one else can ever possess my heart....never....never....
Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves?
And yet my life is now a wretched life.
Your love makes me at once the happiest of women.

Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together.
Be calm...love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - YOU - my life - my all - farewell.
Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours...

FOR THE ONE THAT NEVER DESERVED IT...

CONFESION

1.
WE'VE LEFT SHORE SOMEHOW
BECOME THE FRIENDS
OF EARLY THEORY
CLOSE ENOUGH TO SPEAK
DESIRE AND PAIN OF ABSENCE
OF MISTAKES WE'D MAKE
GIVEN THE CHANCE.

EACH SMILE RETURNED
MAKES HARDER AVOIDING
DREAMS THAT SEE US
LYING IN EARLY EVENING
CURTAIN SHADOWS, SKIN
SAFE AGAINST SKIN.
BLOOM OF COMPASSION
RESPECT FOR MOMENTS
EYES LOCK TURNS
FOREVER INTO ONE MORE
VEIL THAT FALLS AWAY.

2.
THIS AFTER SEEING YOU
LAST NIGHT, FIRST TIME
SMELLING YOU WITH
PERMISSION: SHOULDERS TO
WONDER OPENLY AT
AS CAREFULLY KISSED
AS THOSE ARMS
WAITED IMPOSSIBLY ON.
THEY'VE HELD ME NOW
AND YOUR BREATH
DOWN MY BACK
SENT AWAY NIGHT AIR
THAT HAD ME SHAKING
IN THE UNLIT ANGLICAN
DOORWAY.

3.
ARE WE RUINED FOR
FINDING OUR FACES FIT
AND WANT TO KNOW MORE
ABOUT MORNING?
IS FRIENDSHIP CANCELLED
IF WE CAN'T CALL
EACH OTHER ANYMORE
IN AMNESIA, INVITE
OURSELVES TO LAST GLANCES
UNDER SUSPICIOUS CLOCKS
TELLING US WHEN WE'VE
HAD ENOUGH?

4.
YOUR STEADY HANDS
CRADLING MY GRATEFUL
SKULL: WERE YOU TAKING
IN MY FACE TO
SAVE AN IMAGE
YOU'VE RARELY ALLOWED
YOURSELF AFTER LEAVING
THAT COLD ALCOVE?
AM I A PHOTOGRAPH
YOU GAZE AT IN
MOMENTS OF WEAKNESS?

YOU ORDERED ME
OFF MY KNEES
INTO YOUR ARMS.
WASN'T TO BEG
THAT I KNELT; ONLY
TO SEE YOU ONCE
FROM BELOW.

TRIED TO SAY SOMETHING
THAT FILLED MY MOUTH
AND LONGED TO REST
IN YOUR EAR.
DON'T DARE WRITE
IT DOWN FOR FEAR IT'LL

BECOME WORDS, JUST WORDS.

Dedicated.....

UNTITLED

I MISS YOU...
I see the lights of this world all by my own.
I listen to the sounds of the city without you.
I don't have your hand to hold on.
And I am afraid,cause you are gone,my life.

I MISS YOU
The roads hit me like arrows.
Your soul is like the wind that blows.
It flies up there in the sky
And I don't know where are you,cause I am standing on the ground.

I MISS YOU
I don't know why,I don't know for how long.
I need your body,
to find the secret paths of it
And lead my soul upon them.

I MISS YOU
And there are moments when all that melancholy
is gathered up inside my head.
And there are moments that all that melancholy becomes rain
and spreads to the people.
And there are moments that all that melancholy will be shared to your soul as well.
And there are moments that all that melancholy comes to my mouth as a simple phrase:
I MISS YOU

I lost all respect towards each one of you fellas. Fuck them all.

Zero

Lex Talionis

"Rising above the searching of love visions
I felt this darkness resist
Nailing a thousand nazarenes
Screaming through your thousand faces
Robed in black
For this ritual madness
The demons of the heart
I have learned to obey

War is declared
Spread everywhere

Awaken from the slumber
Where can I hide
Screaming he dies

Past the light
Of a god sent
To a world of the night

For knowledge, I the demons ride"


Lex Talionis by Daemonarch

Brain and Pain Plus Rain

He pops in the ear bud he rests back and closes his eyes
It's mid July, his mind twirls with never ending thoughts
He knows eventually the insanity will take hold and win
He battles but enjoys the tyranny of the mental abuse
Its transforming him, changing him, molding him, teaching him
All resent and regret blast out the speakers at high volume
The metal guitar he focuses on each string as the artist plays
His favorite singer Chino blasts his vocals it only reminds him
It reminds him all the pain it echoes throughout the black sky
Into a black hole goes his mind, deep below the ocean floors
There is no light, none at all, he sees nothing but death and black
Satan provides a resolution a dark path of success which he must follow
He sells his soul. Few understand what happened but he remains somewhat
The same, people unaware of the monster that awaits so he warns his enemies
They naturally back away and he has to do nothing, they fear and crumble
Louder he cranks the volume and it shakes his soul. Heavy metal was his speech
To the darkness. Travel a few months down the road he awakens back to hardcore rap and feels the rush of the ignorant arrogance of the lyrics he enjoyed as a young
teenager. Reminded him of all the shit and places he's been he feels replenished.
What more can he say, once a broken mind now combined to alternate between both worlds with ultra resolve in all actions. He seeks for happiness but its only a loophole that is not what was promised. He knows he is cursed for the rest of his life. Its not his destiny to love, love is not a subject in which his mind now understands. Its only resolve for peace within himself and the spirits that operate the inner workings of his mind so delicately. Various forces in his life now direct him and until everything is dust the change that let my inner most being set loose was the biggest blessing covered in blood. Say goodbye he said as he repeated every word from Chino's lyrics. Eyes closed there was no return now, the hate was so immense that it felt good, it protruded through his body and extended throughout his energy and it was all directed at other energies that were conflicting and thus the rearrangement began. I strongly believe it was so powerful the aftershocks are still being felt. This is not a fabrication of my mind i can feel it. Its everywhere...

Cheers to my companions, my loyalty is undying. Goodnight.

When we ride on our enemies

I've noticed alot of bullshit in my day, rampage your mind
Blind, I activate my hate and let the truth settle in
The motherfucking devils son in law not giving a a fuck
Fuck you bitch choke yourself to death with voodoo
I gives a mad fuck but they don't underrrrrrrstand
You parade your angles trying to look good congratulate
Congratulate my fucking penis down your throat you bitch
Like you used to back in the day don't even look my way
In fact anyone willing to test me can be prepared to get bombed
Hung like Sadam

++ IN MY MIND... OH fuck this. Go make some cookies puta

There's no sporting fake shit what pain was caused
Now erased to only reveal my true form, back in form bitch~!
Lame bitch, fuck you
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait

muahahahahahahahahahahahaha i'm a psycho and i don't give a fuck

aaaahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Psycho 2009

Im the devil - if ever there was such a thing
The results of much too many drugs what youre seeing
Im a mindfuck, completely dis-(gus)-ting
Im (white), a human mutt, fuck a being
Im a dog - fuck lambs, Im silencin em all
Im involved in murders forensic science couldnt solve
Giant set of balls too big to buy a set of drawers
Might as well unzip my fly and let em fall to the floor
Each thoughts completely warped
Im like a walkin, talkin, ouija board
Speakin in tongues, Ive never spoke this speech before
.. hhem-delle-la, ennich-me-noughh-mi-niche-mick-norr ..
Have you ever experienced spirits in lyrics when you hear em
til you scared to stare in into any mirrors when you near em?
Well if so, get ready for some shit yo
Is this some kind of sick joke? shit no, motherfuckin schitzo
So disturbed, he just goes so berzerk he tiptoes
This verse was his urge to slit throats of just hoes
Just goes to shizzow you dizzont, fizzuck with
So-someone this disturbed, sa-sippin on si-zzurp
So - lock your doors, drop to the floors
Get your shotguns drawn - here comes another clockwork orange
Look at bizarre; you really think hes right in his mind?
What the fuck you thinks goin through it when hes writin his rhyme?