Repeat NATAS poem late entry I

I feel the nerves twitch inside my body
Hate has taken a hold of my heart
There is no remorse or mercy left in me
Hate has taken a hold of my heart
I look into my foes eyes and wish nothing but the worst
Hate has taken a hold of my heart
Memories from the past still sting the same
Hate has taken a hold of my heart
The very sight of you makes my veins turn cold
Hate has taken a hold of my heart
I wish you nothing but the worst
Hate has taken a hold of my heart

In Search of Wife

Ohhh she wants me ;) lol

Merry Xmas, Sincerly The Grinch

First of all I'd like to wish everyone (well not everyone lol) a happy holiday season this year. After a while of not posting (been hella busy) I'm not even going to get poetic on this shit.

The year as a whole has been quite interesting and at the same time a total piss off. Its interesting to note that during my time off now on holiday break from school i get news of more bullshit being said by the so called general manager of my former street ball hockey team. Seriously, snitches turned to fags. Tony eat a dick.

This night oh MY OH MY i get invited to guess where a xmas eve party... and guess who showed up to remind me what diarrhea on a human face looks like... serious (vomit) my X who else right?

In normal fashion(myself) ignores the whole corner where the family sits, i turn down seeing a baby who's the X's sisters... LOL flat out cold hearted shit. Don't get me wrong my beef is based on my grudge and dislike... Nothing more nothing less

Will i change? I dunno should I? Some say i've dragged it on too long and the beef is silly.

Silly my dick, Upinsmoke don't give a fuck. Bleed bitches.

Merry Christmas :) haha

Love Lockdown

She embodies what i never have felt before
The true essence of her spirit and mind flow
I can only wonder, as each word shakes my core
The endless distance only makes me more persistent
I really can't tell what the future holds for us
Riding on a plane of uncertainty i remain resilient
With every spoken word, I'm slowly dying to know more
You reveal yourself in seldom ways making me fall
After such a tremendously tragic year i tore
Each piece separated into infinity with me grasping
Trying to catch what meaning i can from this insanity
And when i think i found the answer I'm only lasting
Trying to take on each day hoping for what i look for
Is actually in gods plans for an everlasting finding
I conjure each of these thoughts in my mind ever present
Hoping you will come around and give me a chance
Heal the torn soul, I will make it worth your time
This i promise and if not forever lay in a dark trance
Let the spirits assist.
Out.

Descent

A great gift of the ancient mountain
In the earth and the water
In the well of darkness I found truth
My story of birth came true

Thirty days and thirty nights
I climbed towards the depths of the earth
The horn-clad one walked solemnly
One that has tasted the truth and become cleansed

I saw the path of the sun and the moon
I saw the path of truth, so lonely
A rune foretold war and horrors
A rune told me of blood and rage

What does it take

f
u
c
k


cont...

It´s just time to awake!
Looking in to the ligh all this time,made me blind!
Just want to crawl to my secret special sight!
Leave Beast! Fuck you!
Get the fuck out the mirror bastard!
What tha fuck it´s wrong with my head?!

The Wolves… are Eternal †

Hear the howling… As the light falls and darkness paints the sky in black. A cold Moon shines and the red somber eyes awake… the forest whispers… Oh! Whispers my unholy name, from a frozen Mist I rise, I, Wolf, rise! And my brothers will attack under this blood sign…

Wolves from the fog will join in a nocturnal operetta, when the wind sounds bohemia and the trumpets loud bacanal. Oh! Fausts and ninfs the joy of Nahima, Mistress of the Sabbath.

Soon we’ll be embraced by our father – the one with horns. Satan is rejoicing in pleasure destroying the shapes of flesh.

… And once again from the fog, with horns on head came the Wolf carrying in is shoulder the sacrifice, a beauty to this Walpurgis Eve.

As, to the somber image of our God, the Wolf with Horns I walk!

 

Wolves From The Fog by Moonspell

Dedicated to my good friend S.F. – The heart and soul of this blog

Forever Wolves From The Fog

I've come to the milestone of 50 posts... I'm glad
My mental horizons have expanded beyond anything
I've ever imagined and thought possible. Thank-You
To my blogging partner who made this all possible.
He is a extraordinary person, whom I'm lucky to know

Now to the order of business

She has sharp teeth, pulling me down! Wow, surprise!
How should i act? should i care? or should i lie?
I'm convinced that alcohol is my friend is that bad?
Here's my two cents my friends. I've been fucked
For too long and for too many years but not how you think
I've known LOTS of people in fact, I've always been...
That guy to bend over backwards for everybody! WHY?
I'll tell you why, acting like Obama get you votes...
There are those who will respect but others pretend..
Hiding pretentious jealously and wanting to extract
Take away any part of you that they can to benefit
These belligerent morons have no clue what has hit them
Now i couldn't be anymore the same now could i? NO!
I am now crowned the bad guy, a menace to society...
What load of a donkey diarrhea. Seriously motherfuckers
You took what you could, the story is long and lame
I'd rather forget that, the queen bitch i loved to hate
The entire year of 2008, a rearranged facade of mistakes
Leading me to what is now blissful rage and non-nonchalant
Attitude towards everything and everyone!

I don't care if this doesn't make sense, It's not fucking
Supposed to... I've had one too many Heinekens...

"I dream too much.
I think too much.
I Step too much.
Those thing too much.
I am too much.
I'm pissed too much.
I need too much.
I'm not one to trust."

Deftones - RICKETS

The Verdict

The enclosure of the minds insanity draws near to me
Ever so distant is the face that ever eludes me now
Nothing is what it seems to be anymore and that's true
In the cabin of my deepest thoughts rots memories....
An endless parade of intertwined moments in time long gone
I forever hold that period in my life as my self destruction
To know your alive and well only feeds my suffering....
Take all your energy and burn the image with sulfuric acid
Until only the rancid smell floats away along with it all
These current symptoms always attack with constant pressure
I thought I could have you In visual contact but I was wrong
There is no rectification to be had here... back you go
Down to the depths from which you were stored, you remain
There Is no other solution my own well being is at stake
My small request to god or the devil himself is just one...
Might all the torment and agony be worth the trial and fight
I want nothing to do with you and a few others for good
What have I become you wonder? - what I should of been...
5 years ago.

Lines of...

He notices it all, the constant sounds
What he thinks about is only her
The constant anticipation that we may talk
Constantly running through his mind...
The minor occurrences of other things in his life
Don't seem to matter, people dropping like flies
His only mission is to accomplish the objective
He'll do anything it takes, god placed this for me
He is no longer what people lead to believe
A bad guy in the eyes of many for reasons unknown
If he could just reach out and see you
The reality is so far off into distance
He'd not holding back what the outsiders now see
Inside he still holds the capacity for love
He sets off into the nights sleep hoping

Battle Axe

I want to sleep if you are awake
Still making believe that you aren't at all crazy
And if you don't believe I think you should
You make me so proud
Still you love to think you have always been this way... but you're all wrong
And you only sleep when you've lost cause
Well I still believe that the cause was always me
And if you don't believe I think you should
You make me so proud
Still you love to think you have always been this way
Well I'd love to think you will someday feel the same
And you love to think it will always...always...
If you still believe it wil always be this way... well you're all wrong

-Deftones

Soundtrack to my life

I fucking love the Deftones

Everday


Everymorning


Everynight


It never gets old... every guitar riff, every note, every melody is epic

I rocked into the age of 26 with Hexagram

When Chino sings... he says fuck you, to you for me 1 million times

So fuck you bitch, god damn waste of time... (certain guys be bitches too)

Everybody knows this is nowhere

Pensive, he reacts to the ever growing anticipation
The past is steadily behind him forward in his approach
Never more stable in his decisions finally a solution
The waves of confusion regarding her attitude whimper
Cold breeze across the face only reminds him to care less
He wonders why in her mind she chooses to play victim
In his mind he makes a connection, She has lost cause
Now sleeping soundly, the message is clear on intention
The fact she won't speak to those who believe she lies
The escape is profound, It has no effect on him at all

The notion that things should be moving slowly is good
Or is it? he sits around waiting for feedback finding nothing
He keeps a few thoughts flowing through his mind:
There are those that are more than than they appear to be
Never jump the gun
Never conclude on a final judgment
Always maintain a open mind

His patience flows infinitely
Scattered negativity chooses its spots
Each day brings him a new balance
But tonight I feel like more....

...

Just a stupid quotation...

" It's the dawn of a new morning at the Mountains of Silver and I would rather live in the ice than in the middle of the modern virtue and other southern winds."

Friedrich Nietzsche

The Death Of Love

"Her penultimate sighs caught softly on the kindling wind... Her saintly eyes filling with tears lifting with truth and then a golden flash like the onset of heaven leaving her screams breaking my heart and in the grip of fire I knew of the death of love..."

 

The Death Of Love by Cradle Of Filth

Mist

Staring this clear dark sky night,
Thoughts are making steps into the black light.
Walk through empty Streets, feeling what I felt before;
Wonder is there more?

Catching the line to a place in my mind,
Catching the time that I cannot find!

Go, go…Run, run …!

Follow the footsteps into what draws you inside out
Where memories and screams are more than dreams
Is there some other place to begin?

Glowing Soul

Now that you're awake
Everything seems different
I look around
But there's nothing at all
Put on my shoes, I then find that
She is still in her pajamas
Then found in a dream
I'm hung by (an) anticlimax
She is with the sun
And it's out here
But where are you...
Go on a journey
And roam the streets
Can't see the way out
And so use the stars
She sits for eternity
And then climbs out
She's the glowing sun
So come out
I awake from a nightmare
My heart is beating
Out of control…
I've become so used to this craziness
That it's now compulsory
And here you are...
I'm feeling...
And here you are,
Glowing soul...
And here you are...

A Good Start

Bright hopes come true
As we walk downtown
Smiling and laughing
As friendship and exhaustion collide
We celebrate
A two year wait
A distant dream is born
We eat and drink ourselves full
And pay up
With all we have for the day
We sit down excited
Listen to ourselves play the music
No one seems to listen
This is completely different
We lived in another world
Where we were never invisible
A few days later
We speak again
But it didn't sound good
We were all in agreement
In agreement about most things
We’ll do better next time
This is a good start...

Sleepwalkers

I'm here again
Inside you
It's so good staying here
But I stay a short while
I float around in underwater hibernation
In a hotel connected to the electricity board and
nourishing...

But the wait makes me uneasy - I kick the fragility away
And Shout - I have to go - Help!

I explode out and the peace is gone
Bathed in new light
I cry and I cry - Disconnected
A ruined brain put on breasts
And fed by sleepwalkers

New Batteries

Barbwire stapled in my bleeding mouth
Locked in a cage
Naked animals beat me
A liberator knocks
An untamed inserts new batteries
And charges once again
We set off
Into the unknown
Until we destroy everything and are dominant
Once again
Once again in the back where we ride
The barbwire returns
In my mouth, ripping up an old healed wound
My soul has grown rusty
The electricity is gone
I want to cut
And slice myself to death,
But daren't risk it.
Instead I turn myself off,
Alone again.

hot like lava

whoa whats this, turning a new leaf? stay tuned... this could be a fun winter

Gnarls Barkley - "Who's Gonna Save My Soul?"

I found this video today... i found it kinda... interesting...

dark cloud

Remember that time when we used to talk
You used to confide in me and tell me things
Now that's all been taken away and why
Do you really think i was made of stone?
But fast forward now, wheres the dark cloud hang?
It could be over me but only b/c of how i am
I don't really care what the outcome is
I hold onto 'things' like a chemical bond
Torn from wasted time and whats worse is
My brain occupies too much space with shit
Shit that should be erased and rewritten
That is not how reality works what i wish
Is not really ever going to happen so fuck it

I want to touch on another subject but w/e
To keep it short, fuck adding everyone to FBook
Past idiots infiltrate and for what? a glimpse?
No need to elaborate further I've made my point

Suppose we really do never talk normally again
I'd just like to say that your heartless ways
Need not apply here therefore your shock over me
Not wanting to resume friendship is ridiculous
Go on, think your better. Give it more time
I know my jabs at you were sharp and insulting
Was it true? your bet your ass it was
So when i see you online doing god knows what
I always remember and that memory is distracting

Cold winter is entering hopefully to freeze
All thoughts to put on hold, waiting for spring
Thaw out and enjoy the hard work i've put in lately
In all my endeavors, running my own life how i wish
Not in accordance to anyone or anything, just me
Under rebuilding process:
Signing off.

Memories and Addictions... Now I Am Reborn!

Sometimes I look myself in the mirror and I keep thinking : "What a fuck have you done with your life so far?" . Well... it's kind of true... I always tought I lived my live to the max (and I did ! ) but I never accomplished anything. For the past 10 years I was always one of those people that belonged to the "cool people" group, I made fun of the nerds and geeks, acted like an ass most of times, but that was what I was supposed to do to "fit in" and be popular around the hot girls. Can you blame for that? Yeah right... like you wouldn't do the same. The truth is that now, 10 years passed, I don't even talk to those so-called "cool people", and some of the nerds i was always making fun are now my true friends. I guess we all learn from our mistakes right? Like my grandfather used to say : " To learn how to walk... you need to fall many times." .

I laugh like Hell when I think about the so many times people said to me this Summer : " You don't know how to have fun anymore, you need to get drunk to have fun.". It's funny at the beginning, but after a few months I just think about it, and the only thing that comes to my mind is: "What have I been doing all my life? ". And the winner answer is: NOTHING ! Absolutely nothing! What a complete waste of time, that's why now I'm decided to change all that. I'm starting a new chapter in my life, probably the one that i was supposed to star a few years ago, but it's never too late.

So, to finish all this crap because I'm already sick and tired of writing so much bullshit, I'm proud to say that all my negativity is gone, I'm a new person now, I started a new wave of positive attitude towards life.

 

Memories and addictions are gone...

Now... I Am

REBORN !

this is it the truth unveiled
death to you and me
no more rage
this was not my fault
who wouldn't take no for an answer
was it me? mind trapped in a vault
knock on it gently who's there
the fairy godmother of fucking bullshit
there you have it, i'll maintain
my escape from misery saved my life
exodus

Cold

Brief tales of sorrow exploited
The caring nurturing part of me
Adorned while its absence felt
Now gone, its presence buried
Tears flow catching an open flame
Closed off, knife infliction
Feel the void, let it burn
Walk inside the mouth of despair

message not

stale silence exists cutting the air
no modest greeting only bitter reminders
reasons unknown to why i even bother
planting the killer seed in myself
playing with a time bomb just waiting
eternal silence is all i hear
its all i see its all i experience
everyday the same games my mind mocks
programmed to do what i do not want
until the brain snaps oh it will break
time is running out, i can see it
growing out of this, its dying slowly
the door is almost shut on you
so scramble in your net blindfolded
after all its what lead you here....

Negative? who me? nooooo....

Fuck the following types of people:

Ones who brag: They come out of nowhere and flash there achievements like i give a fuck

Ones who are full of self pity when they are the ones to blame for there hideous behavior... i say FUCK YOURSELF

Ones with no compassion... lol a little ironic, don't you think?

Ones who like to use others for there own advantage or take MY trust and use it against me in some mentally inexcusable manner. Seriously... Hand me a impact wrench and let me reverse drill your fucking eyes out PLEASE.

Moving on...

Always the same shit...

You like attention
It proves to you you're alive
Stop parading your angles
Confused? You'll know when you're ripe

Sick Of Life

Paralyzed
Nothing's getting through to me
Hypnotized from all my surroundings
I wanna be something I could never be
I wanna say things that I could never say

Yeah, I'm gonna do it again
I'm gonna do it again
I'm gonna do it again

Sick of my life
I'm tired of everything in my life

Dragged down
Rubbing my face in the ground
No time for the undecided
I wanna know why I've always felt alone
And I wanna love
Why am I untouchable?

Yeah, I'm gonna do it again
I'm gonna do it again
I'm gonna do it again

Sick of my life
I'm tired of everything in my life

I never wanted to be sick of my life
I'm tired of everything in my life

Sick of my life
I'm tired of everything in my life
I never wanted to be sick of my life
I'm tired of everything in my life

-godsmack

dark focal point

I've killed you a thousand times in my nightmares
The corrosion of the stagnant memories still plague
No longer confused but in utter dismay over you
My fascination with the unknown causes only panic
The very thought of opening my mouth makes me gag
Like a bucket full of sand poured down my throat
I can not speak, nor can i comprehend how i think
The stains of time have only accomplished one thing
And that's decapitate my nervous system from loving
I can feel exactly what your feeling and its loss
Multiple complex patterns of self debate run deep
Inside I still feel haunted as if your here beside me
My constant state of preoccupation causes me to forget
But a part of me regurgitates the vile pulsating thoughts
Ones i so desperately need to bury away but i can't
The measurement of my present claim to well being
Only gratified due to my self promise and satisfaction
But monuments and melodies in my mind tune me into you
I stand there baffled and unaware that the ghost has come
The one that will not let me sleep or rest or live in peace
Your ghost haunts me still and i can no longer deny it
So if you wish to bury yourself inside me even without words
Take it... knock on the door and enter its open but remember
No one is there waiting for you, that place is abandoned
You will leave on your own accord, this you will render
Know what you have done, remember the everlasting fact
You broke whatever blood pulse i had and took it away
I am a marching silhouette guided by only his true friends

I can't accompany this piece with a crude conclusion
I'll see you in my nightmares, the thunder ground
Endless terrain of war the only thing that reigned
Lord why...

Night Eternities

A Thousand Eternities
The Rain will Fall
More and more, Even when we´re gone!
It wouldnot be stoped!
A million shed tears I can!
What feeds and fills of grace,
The Soul is the one single thing
That neither Eternities or Rains
Will wash away!

It's almost Oct. Things are going as planned and my determination hasn't been this high in over 15 years. I feel great. My motivation is a blend of positive vibes and pure rage. I unconventionally blend the two together and produce results. I am not so much obsessed with revenge as i once was, things are just unfolding as they should.

Today i am feeling anxious, restless and totally remorseless and unsympathetic. However i got a message today that put a smile on my face lol. I'm taking a break from poetry today. I can't guess about my past anymore but it won't stop me from serving the most vicious of truths

-upinsmoke

Tired

"Maybe I am the man with those mystic two heads
one facing down, the other facing back
but I don't know who I am
and you still don't know who I am

Maybe I am the man with the legendary four hands
To finger, to heal, crave and strangulate
but I don't know who I am
and you still don't know who I am

I am exhausted of returning to a place I've never been
I am exhausted of returning from a place I've never been

Maybe I am the man of the universal two words
The lie and the lie, the scorn and the scorn
You want to know how I am
To forgive me what I am

I am exhausted of returning to a place I've never been
I am exhausted of returning from a place I've never been

I forgot who I am but I am too tired to be it
I forgot who I am but I am too tired to live/leave it

I am exhausted of returning to a place I've never been
I am exhausted of returning from a place I've never been... "


Tired by Moonspell

subcon

out of grasp you have nothing to hold onto
your glare of quenched steel still stitched on my eyes
oh where has the pride gone after the attempt to push me down
a phase out gone wrong, always pretending full of lies
so what have we learned today
your loneliness can't surpass your greed
its your greed that pushes you down and makes you cross that line
so when the time came to test the heart it was on pause
now that it resumes reality has set in my fickle swine
can you bear living in the prison you call home
insecurities betrayed your mind
creating a mold of something unattainable
that object of your desires lacks vision
dedication crumbled agenda
wasted words and resolutions you only speak to
flex your jaw, epic fall
seek emotional guidance now from the reflection
yet nothing answers back
it goes to show that the end is never clear as day you make the call

The Truth

I haven't slept since I woke up



Get it?


& I don't plan to ever again, you dumb fucking twat.

new life sweet desire

You sat there across from me, i looked at you
My understanding came to an entire new level
Could this actually be happening?
Your purpose i am not certain of
Taking a chance to understand me
I only hope we can build on this
My patience bleeds but it works for you
In moderation i make an effort to show you
The man i am, the man i was, the man i wish to be
You know very well a bit of my past
Just know that i keep an open mind
Your beauty is capturing but inside i crave
To know exactly if this dream is true
I'm not sure where this will go
Take it a step at a time
You are gorgeous, beautiful terror
I won't fall off or lose my balance
I couldn't be anymore prepared
Then i am this day

So i dedicate this to you my new wonder
I couldn't be anymore engulfed
Your body is a piece of art
Could your mind be of the same mold?
She is worth something
Some kind of effort and mystery
My mystery, the puzzle that i never get
Love
Don't go off wandering away from me
Too many twists, how could this be possible?
I'll be here

overview of lost patience

"The winds of change
Are in the air
The winds of change
Are everywhere"

"Your future lies within my eyes
What I predict will terrify
I can't control what comes to be
From the past to the present to eternity"


Don't ever think your better now
Your not
Shit beneath my feet
I'm rising from the ash, Your not the only one
Everyone is burning, they try to prove a point
Flashing there fake achievements
Seeing if i care, but i no longer do
Justice at last
Are you feeling trapped? wheres your peace lie?
Its too late, i know your soul lies in the young one
You no longer care to improve yourself
How do i do the things i do?
The severeness of the situation begs for an understanding
Not because i say so but that's just the way it is
I never brag, bragging enforces weakness
So walk around like your the queen
Behave like a rejected king
Toss your gold at me, only to fall away
In the end your just walking on a treadmill
Going nowhere staying in the same spot
You love that feeling...
Sin with a smile

Exiled into nothing... faded out

September

Where once great admiration lay, no more is found
The gratitude diminished, a simple glare is what remains
The endless time frame of despair is hell bound
Tormenting myself over a minuscule cause has left me wonder
What was the whole point of it all, could i have been so fraigle
The time to wake up is now, wasting time, move on... not ponder
A new wave is forming, the ocean is calm the shrapnel has sunk
Because the explosion was necessary, it signified the end of us
Now the restoration of me.
As i begin this new journey, the new inspiration comes from the hunter
The will to take what i want is in full operation and now i see
Its never too late to rise from the ash, we all face the day
However with all the constant change, one thing will remain the same
That my friend, i will never look at you the same way again.

Hurt

"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way..."

Hurt by Nine Inch Nails

The Hunting

Shoot me in the back
Do it the way that only you know
End it quickly
There's no point in staying like this forever
I just wanted you to make up your mind
And that you could stop with all this mind games

Now there's no place to hide
And the runaway path is missing...
You just now what to do
Finish it!

It's ironic, isn't it?
The hunter becomes the prey
I feel the wound now
And you get what you want
I'm dead
You win...

Black

"Goodbye
Reason to see
Everything looks the same
I don’t know
If the change made was great
Cause the craving remains the same"

Fading... down the hole, the black abyss.

Never rise again.

Goodnight

A Party with the Devil

First of all i want to give a big shout out to my best friend Andrew. Buddy you are the best, thanks for coming out tonight. It means more than you know.


Demons crawl along the walls of my eyes
Seeking to destroy what sanity i have left
They move along entering through the cracks
Attacking my thoughts they dare to lure me
Convincingly telling me that the dark is good
The only way is to give into the devil and obey
Yet I stand a constant battle, how I must stand to face the truth
Instead of running away, just fucking man up
Here i sit intoxicated once more, drunk out of my mind
All feelings short circuited for the time being
I always understand the truth, I always say the right things
Forgive me for my weakness I only wish to do whats best
With some strength I can fight off the demons
I know they won't rest until all my soul is put to rest

Dead Visions in Your Name

Will this ever end.

I'm going insane...

Heart beat pumping
Rage continues
Reading past conversations
Dwelling with dead memories
No understanding what happened
How could you dump all your emotions on me
Then cut me off
You are so fucked up
I'm going to fuck you up
You stupid whore
Look what you've done
Nobody knows me anymore
I don't even know myself anymore
I'm some creature
Wanting to call you now...
Hands shaking, what the hell
WHY DO I FUCKING CARE
Get the fuck out of my head

...before i lose my mind

The Unsilent Storms In The North Abyss

"Delight of the Moon is burning inside
Spiritless I lay on cryptic stones
Mesmerising snow wait silent above me
And my yearn for frost grow strongly.
I Am Demon

A demon with a shadowed face
Entering to my wintercoffin
Awaiting to see the dawnless Realms
Staring into a ground of glass
A perfect view I could failed
Into my eyes...
The unsilent storms in the North Abyss... "

by Immortal - The Unsilent Storms In The North Abyss

Rant Part Negative Zero

"You are wrong, fucked, and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything"

-Everything Ends : Slipknot

Blood shot eyes, I barely sleep
The Pills make the pain bearable
The numbness dulls my nerve endings
If only the record spinning in my mind would melt
Because in there lies our documentary
Recorded sessions of events only known to you and I
They must all be burnt, each day I take the time
To destroy, one memory at a time until nothing is left
Contract friendship and emotional abuse, how amusing
Insecurity, compensating for issues I no longer care for
Trade in every time we kissed for a needle in my eye
You are... so fascinating
You are... so over-rated

You couldn’t hate enough to love

the saga staged around forced behaviors
awkward encounters, frayed chemistry
live wire snapping, fear of electrocution
the slightest disagreement always a riot
mental fatigue, all patience lost

death sentence to accept opposite opinions
clashing like the apocalypse
stubborn pride interfering
always a battle
why? drama is a inner fetish of yours, so bite
walls as high as the sky, impossible to reach
demanding pressure
always constant feeling to please
appreciation never existed the goal was always to risk it
speaking my mind always catering to captain bitch
hoping for a proper reaction often failing

slave to your dominating persona no more
you find a proud man here now
re-establishing himself and his soul
play again with care
you may just find fire that will leave you burned

beware if you get bored again
god forbid
let the hate wash up on shore

Ohhh Mary Jane

Throw it all away...

whats left
right or wrong the project failed
the fantasy of some odd dream
never to be transformed into reality
i maintain it was not meant to be
what truth has come to pass
you never truly cared
besides for your own self-interest
who's going to remember this spec of time
lost forever in space
what does it matter
it never meant anything, fraud;
i call a testimony but there is none
one day ages from now
the only one to regret will be
?


nothing had to die
it was dead to begin with.

Snuff

"Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again…

So if you love me, let me go. And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care. I can’t destroy what isn’t there.
Deliver me into my fate - If I’m alone I cannot hate
I don’t deserve to have you…
My smile was taken long ago / If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn’t face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart… when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not hear. I think I made it very clear.
You couldn’t hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren’t my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a saint…
My own was banished long ago / It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won’t listen to your shame
You ran away - You’re all the same
Angels lie to keep control…
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don’t ever let me know
If you still care, don’t ever let me know…"


"Snuff" by Slipknot @ All Hope Is Gone

The new era of... ?

"Wear your grudge like a crown of negativity
Calculate what we will or will not tolerate
Desperate to control all and everything
Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen"

Tell me i should not act according to how i feel, be like everyone else and accept the advice that the common sheep adore.

I find it an impossible proposition, those unforgiven will remain nameless forever haunted by memories of the past. Your day of reckoning will come... as i apply my pain towards a better day i can feel your life force draining like the pathetic shit you are.

Don't count on me falling because i will not, your calculations are mysterious but i understand your mentality. Your choice to leave me with no answers left with me with all the answers i ever needed.

So congratulations, I can feel the weather change.

Na Noite

Choro na noite...
Nesta noite silenciosa.
As lágrimas vão caindo...
Precipitam-se tristes e dolorosas por algo que não sei.
No peito sinto uma pressão...
À qual desconheço a razão.
Choro na noite...
Nessa noite dolorosa.
Algo se estará a passar?
Algo estará para vir?
O que é isto que me está a cercar...?
Virá mais dor a caminho?
Não sei o que estou a sentir... Choro sem saber.
Choro na noite...
Nesta noite silenciosa.
A escuridão rodeia todo o meu ser...
As Trevas prendem-me neste castelo... que me está a enlouquecer.
Talvez tenha vindo a acumular as dores de outrora...
Ou terei algo para me culpar nesta hora?
Olho pela janela...
E vejo o sol nascer.
Tudo se torna claro...
Afinal tudo tem uma razão de ser.
Já sei porque choro...
Choro por ti.
Porque não estás aqui...

Feitiço

Oiço o rumor da esperança,
Apavorado fujo rompendo feitiços,
Na fuga cravam-se punhais em todo o meu corpo... Impedindo-me de avançar.
Tudo me persegue neste Inverno...
Cruza-se no meu caminho uma barreira de espinhos...
Viajo através do Inferno.
Exorciza a minha vida, salva-me deste feitiço do qual não encontro saída.
Corro em círculos comendo ódio enfeitiçado...
A um passo da loucura.
A porta do descanso eterno está aberta...
E perco a esperança.
Sei que estou perto...
Mais longe que a distância.
Enfeitiçado...
A um passo da loucura.

Vazio

Sinto uma vaga amargura...
... Porque amargo sou eu.
Não sempre, mas muitas vezes.
E agora aqui, olhando para um papel, lembro-me de ti.
Queria escrever coisas belas mas perco-me algures num canto obscuro... Da mente sombria que criei para mim.
Não consigo ser o que esperas de mim.
Não sou o que imaginei que seria...
E há um vazio na minha mente, quando ideias deviam livremente fluir... para falarem de ti.
Enchendo de música a minha consciência, tenho a vaga noção de versos que me dizem algo... palavras que a ti associo...
Mas nada em concreto aparece... e o teu rosto dispersa-se pela minha memória.
Ainda assim...
Não te sinto como um rosto... A mim, talvez sentirás.
Buscando no coração o que a mente não encontra, é o silêncio que me abraça naquele seu manto de escuridão, que tão singularmente concilia a mais pura das calmas...
Com a mais dura das fúrias...
Devia procurar no espírito... a alma tem respostas.
lembro-me de ti nas horas solitárias, são sempre lágrimas nos olhos... e vazios em tudo o resto...

Best Forgotten

Looking down there...
I can't stop thinking...
About all the calm I feel in me,
Like I've never felt before.
How I forgot everything that is going on...or what went on...
Time stops!
I can't think...
I can only feel...
Feel...
... And I can't leave.
I look without blinking..
Just enjoying the moment,
Knowing that if I leave...
I can't go back anymore.
But that's not what I want,
The only thing I want is to stay... and never wake up again.
To the middle of nothing... to the middle of all...
I just want to stay here... Here I'm better... Forgotten by everything and everyone...
Much better.... and best forgotten...

Far Away

The more far I am.... The closest I feel to you...
Like if your footsteps where here nearby me, and I could follow you... Talk to you... and tell you how much I love you and how hard I try to find you, lost in these streets where I see you, angry and irritated for missing you... in the bright sky... in the coldest of days...
Give me back my life and my time!
Say something to this foolish heart who doesn't know nothing at all... who thinks that you are close...
And calls for you... without stopping...